It's coming, I can feel it.

It's not the calm before the storm, or the chaos that leads to inevitable disaster, but whatever it is, it's there. That sinking roller coaster feeling. The butterflies in your stomach that are supposed to be there but aren't feeling. It's the second shadow feeling.

It's coming, I can feel it. My depression is on its way.

It's like an old school bully. I've come to terms with our past. I talk about it without resentment. Sometimes even with pride. It's the classmate that told me I was a worthless team member, but then I came out on top and got the better grade. It's a past that I accept and have come to terms with. Doesn't mean I'm volunteering for another group project with it though. Hell, I rather not even sign up to be in the same class as it again. But even though I've graduated, and only reminisce about its existence, it's found me on social media. It keeps sending me friend requests that I keep declining. And I can feel it. Soon, it's going to break me down. Soon, I will loose the will to keep pushing it away, and accept its request back into my life.

My depression isn't sadness. I like sadness.
When the world makes me sad, it determines me to make it brighter.
My depression is apathy
And I can feel it coming.
My laugh isn't as loud. My tears aren't as salty. My anger isn't as hot. And my love isn't as free

My depression is coming. And I know why it's here.

My depression is coming. And I need to talk about it, even if no one is listening.